Marriage is decided in India with so many factors which include social status, religion, caste, horoscope, and dowry (nowadays known as gifts). Meeting partners online, then dating, love, and all its not possible mostly with some Indian families. But there are some marriages by 'their own choice' which is known as 'Love Marriage' and marriage by 'their parent's choice' is the practice mostly followed by people in India. I remember one of my friends asked me, 'what is Love marriage? As if an arranged marriage doesn't have love?' she questioned. It's doubtful whether the courtship period will turn into love or not? Anyways, It's a person's choice! You can also comment on what you think of this.
Ok! Let's gear-up to the topic now!
What is the utmost choice in marriage?
A study shows that 75 percent of Indian men and women between 18-35 prefer arranged marriage. But 90 percent of marriages are decided by their parents in India. Only ten percent marry by their own choice. Whereas 55 percent of marriages are arranged worldwide according to a study by Statistic brain in 2012. Korea, Japan, Pakistan, Bangladesh, China are the other countries where arranged marriage is traditionally practiced.
Ethics and Practices
In some families, men and women are not allowed to talk with each other before getting married. There are many who feel that if the girl and guy speak before marriage, there will be futile problems and that it's not ethically fair.
There is a practice that an engaged couple sees each other before marriage in the villages of Punjab, the marriage will be called off. There is still a situation that the two should never have met before getting married. This is the practice of some communities even now.
Why it's successful- The Rule of Expectation
One of the reasons that most marriages fail because neither the relationship doesn't meet the expectation nor satisfy the partner, According to the council of family relations research in 2012.
In an arranged marriage, we barely know about the partner and his/her family. We do not get a complaint on 'Dated a different person and after marriage, he/she changed'. We enter into the marriage life with minimum expectations. It takes time to adapt to the new familial situation and get into a comfortable level with the partner. Also, there may be chances for both the partners to adjust with each other and put an effort to make the marriage work better.
Sociologists say, according to The Rule of Expectation in a marriage institution, an individual tends to make decisions based on how others expect from them. It's become a win-win situation for a long term relationship. Though there are no hard and fast rules for marriage, the minimum expectations, and the rule of expectation together make the relationship better!
The Comfortable Zone
In the age of online matrimonial websites leading to marriage, friends and family put a lot of information about the bride or groom and their preferences for a desirable partner, etc., This report includes their socio-economic status, community, locations, career choices and so many. So anyways it is never going to go out of the comfort zones for the family to adopt a new person. Some may even ask for relocations, willingness to have kids, taking care of parents, etc., Marriage is based on the satisfying answer for all the questions asked. But in a love marriage, we have no choice but to accept everything.
Indian Bride |
Arranged marriages are sought with the hope for a life long commitment not only with those individuals but between the two families.
Dowry System
Indian women are richer compared to other countries. Because they own 11% of the world's gold. That's more than the combined stocks of the USA, Switzerland, Germany, and the International Monetary Fund. Hence, Gold is more than anything in India!
Dowry Prohibition Act, Indian law, enacted on May 1, 1961, intended to prevent the giving or receiving of a dowry. But, still, it continues, many people in India often think dowry is related to their status and culture. It's a pride that a woman comes with so much gold and money when getting married to their son, she is equal to goddess Mahalakshmi. No one directly asks for dowry nowadays. The groom's family simply leaves the choice up to the bride's family saying, 'It's your wish to give gold, cash, and land to your daughter. We won't interfere in this'. The bride's family should tell how many pounds they are going to offer to their daughter. Only if they feel this family will match their status level, further steps will be taken.
Difficulties in Divorcing
13 in 1000 marriages end in divorce. Thus, the divorce rate is 1.1% in India.
Courts in India focus on reconciliation rather than separation. Due to alimony and children's custody delays the divorce cases for years. The couple will be given counseling sessions because the result of compromising after the session is higher. Due to long litigation, the couple may even change their minds after filing a divorce.
At the end of the day, we need to take a leap of faith for the satisfying married life. Happy-go- lucky is what we think, what we choose, and what we wish for our relationships. Think about how much ever we want before making a decision. But after taking it, there is no use in thinking at all. We wish you all success in your bright life.
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